Newspaper columnist Dave Barry deals with everyday life in the suburbs.
Captain Bridger seeks seaQuest's help to go deep into Macronesian waters and retrieve some top secret data crystals that reveal unspeakable atrocities committed against humanity 20 years earlier. The crimes in which Bridger and Ford may have been involved.
Things look ho-ho-hopeless for Drew when the store's employees--including Kate--go on strike during the holiday rush, and he's forced to hire scabs to replace them.
Santa's loading a gun and checking it twice, then taking Pops and the boys hostage for not showing the right Christmas spirit. He's only a part-time, dress-up Santa, but the gun is for real.
Nothing goes right at Helen's christmas party: Joe wants to hit the road to head for the slopes before they are snowed in; Antonio gives but does not receive; Roy misses his mother; Budd tries to be social; and Casey invites Carlton's annoying nephew Lewis.
While Hayden's priority is the Breakers' first game of the season, Doris is concerned with re-signing a handsome washout (Wahlheim) so he can model a line of swimwear endorsed by the team -- and television commentators focus on the team's new sex symbol during a game.